How important is winning
Sun, 03/08/2026 - 6:40am
    17 years
|
This was not what I would have expected.
My son's in house team was 10-1-1, while the opponent was 1-9-2.
For the championship, they lost.
One explanation I overheard was the other team, well, nobody ever showed up week after week until the playoffs. Makes sense, because I was thinking how would they have drafted players so unequally? It also explains how a team with that record, made it through the playoffs.
My wife asked our son to see his silver medal.
"Nah, it's embarrassing."
It reminded me of when Canada recently lost to the USA, there was not one smile on the silver medalists' faces.
Is winning important? Should kids learn to win?
For me, it's hard to say. In life, as they say, when you come to a fork in the road, take it.
I think its depends
This was not what I would have expected.
My son's in house team was 10-1-1, while the opponent was 1-9-2.
For the championship, they lost.
One explanation I overheard was the other team, well, nobody ever showed up week after week until the playoffs. Makes sense, because I was thinking how would they have drafted players so unequally? It also explains how a team with that record, made it through the playoffs.
My wife asked our son to see his silver medal.
"Nah, it's embarrassing."
It reminded me of when Canada recently lost to the USA, there was not one smile on the silver medalists' faces.
Is winning important? Should kids learn to win?
For me, it's hard to say. In life, as they say, when you come to a fork in the road, take it.
I think it really depends person to person. Some people it means the world, others couldn't care less. Personally I have a hard time even playing board-games or video games. Winning is just not that important to me. But I think it's a person to person thing....
myself
I'm not a competitive person, which likely hurt me over the long run but I feel more content I think. I'm not about to go to the gym right now, and say, let me pick someone I'll race against on the elliptical (I know there are folks like this, they are always mentally looking to beat someone else).
I overheard our coach talking about running a half marathon and his approach was very competitive, like he would not do it half a****, where, if me, I'd be happy enough to finish and I would not be competitive.
I was a bit surprised my son was acting like Team Canada and that silver meant being a loser lol
What I realize is we have to let these kids form some of their own opinions, but, we hope they overall have good values.
Just saw a sign on the back of a car yesterday
The sign read 0.0 I don’t run. A play on the marathon and half-marathon signs that people stick on the back of their cars. Me? I don’t run and I have never liked running. My wife is very competitive; me? Not so much. Unless it’s a chess game. I do like intelligent competition.
"Everything I need can be found in the presence of God. Every. Single. Thing." Charley Hartmann 2/11/1956-6/11/2022
Depends on the kids
"Is winning important? Should kids learn to win?"
I don't think you can *make* kids want to win. If I were a coach, I'd be assessing my group. Why are these kids here? Is it to have fun with friends? Is it to crush opponents' skulls? Somewhere in between? I'd even want to have a discussion to feel them out. Say, look, we can go several ways with this, but if winning is your number one goal, it takes commitment and discipline, and I'll do everything I can to help you, but you've gotta bring the attitude to get there too.
Typically with pre-adolescent kids, a team is going to have kids with a mix of goals, and there may not be a consensus.
"141 could draw faster than he, but Irving was looking for 143..."
Great Question You Have Asked
Instead of focusing on winning, perhaps the focus should be on striving for excellence, which promotes winning.
And there should be no shame participating in a well-played loss.
But the depressive effect of losing remains powerful.
I'm 68, and I still pout and sulk at times when disappointed !
RKF (Brookeville, MD) Garmin Nuvi 660, 360 & Street Pilot
Winning is doing the right
Winning is doing the right thing and having fun. (not at the expense of others) If he had fun during this experience, he won. If he didn't have fun, he needs to look at another activity.